Infidelity Red Flags - Indianapolis, Indiana Private Investigators

Within our office, the following checklist is known as the "Infidelity Red Flags," because enough red flags make it easy to identify a pattern of marital misconduct.



We hand this checklist to a prospective client and have them look it over. If they only check off one or two behaviors, there may be a reasonable explanation; their spouse should probably be given the benefit of a doubt. But if they start checking box after box, we know immediately that their spouse is deeply involved somewhere else, other than home. Admittedly, it can be indicative of other aberrant behavior - drug use, prostitution, alcohol abuse, pornography, criminal activity - but more often than not, it’s infidelity.





Read through the eleven specific categories below. The questions are obvious, but need to be asked; the answers are uncomfortable, but need to be given. The responses give our investigators the information they need to develop a plan for our clients. Sometimes infidelity is sudden and impetuous, other times it is slow and calculated. Either way, a trail of clues and evidence is always left behind.



1. CHANGE IN MONEY HABITS



Carrying on an affair is an expensive proposition. If one is leading a double life, they will do anything to reduce suspicion. Their spouse may notice that he/she is being more secretive about income, expenses, and where money is being spent. They may try to cover their tracks by moving to cash-only transactions or getting a new credit card. The occasional odd receipt, bill, or package can be a tip off. They may also purchase gifts of guilt for their spouse to cover their infidelity.



2. INCREASED SECRECY



Another layer of deceit to cover expenses can be to secure a PO box or mail drop. This is a pretty clear sign that something dishonest is going on. Strange phone numbers may appear on caller ID. If they are planning to leave, they may start closing or moving bank accounts. Their spouse may also discover important family papers missing.



3. HOURS ON THE INTERNET



Often they think they can stay up late and maintain a relationship online without their spouse being aware. Significant amount of time online can be a warning sign. And be on the lookout if they deliberately clear their history before signing out. They may also open new email accounts without their spouse's knowledge.



4. CHANGE IN SCHEDULE



Finding blocks of uninterrupted time to maintain a clandestine relationship without creating suspicion is a challenge. A cheater's unexplained whereabouts begin to accumulate as evidence. Time away from home will also cause a reduction in time spent with the children, which they will notice and comment on. It should be considered a warning when lame excuses are given for missing important family events or there are frequent last-minute schedule changes. The spouse may find that they call more often to check on their whereabouts. If they shower first thing upon returning home, they may have been with someone else just prior and want to remove any trace of scent.



5. INCREASED TRAVEL



To cover for an extra-marital affair, there may be new and unexplained business travel. Excessive mileage on the car may indicate extra stops along the way. Business trips that fall on a weekend allow a tryst to become a business expense. They may give reasons that sound legitimate to travel with or be alone with someone of the opposite sex.



6. INCREASED HOSTILITY



When questioned by their spouse, they may become increasingly defensive and belligerent. They may even accuse their spouse of being paranoid and suggest that they need counseling. The spouse's faults and shortcomings become big issues as the cheater becomes increasingly combative, argumentative, and even threatening or abusive.



7. TAKING ON A NEW IMAGE



One of the surest signs that one is involved elsewhere (or on the prowl) is a sudden change in their appearance. They usually want to look younger—tanning, weight loss, new wardrobe, working out, hair treatments—anything that will enhance their image and make them fit in with a younger crowd. They may also purchase a recreational vehicle (boat, ATV, sports car, snowmobile, etc.) to give the appearance of an active lifestyle and provide an explanation for where they may be spending afternoons and weekends. Taking up drinking or doing so excessively can be a part of trying to blend in with their new friends. It can also lead to using illegal substances.



8. DISCONNECTING WITH SPOUSE



Carrying on two separate relationships is a complex and difficult task. It is almost always accompanied by a substantial decline in intimacy with their spouse and a decrease in simple affection such as handholding, kisses, and eye contact. They may also drop or change terms of endearment. Conversation may become awkward and diminish significantly. Phone calls and messages from their spouse are often ignored. These are often the first things someone notices and can generate a visit with a PI.



9. DISCONNECTING WITH OTHERS



Moral misbehavior can create significant guilt as well as worry about discovery. This can manifest in decreased family interaction and avoidance of simple family traditions. Another sign of infidelity is a reduction in accepting civic or church responsibilities. There’s no time available for charitable service or community involvement. Associating with good people may also be an uncomfortable reminder of the immoral behavior.



10. ESTABLSHING NEW CONNECTIONS



While disconnecting with their spouse, family, and other previously close relationships, the cheater may be establishing a whole new set of friends. They are often single friends—both never married and divorced—that frequently have a totally different set of values from their former life. Their new haunts may leave traces of unfamiliar smells such as alcohol, tobacco, incense, marijuana, or strange cologne/perfume. To help facilitate this new lifestyle, they may purchase a pay-as-you-go cell phone with only a few people knowing the number. This may also explain them receiving or sending text messages at odd times or slipping into another room to take a phone call. If they furtively check phone messages and then deleteing them before their spouse can see it, there is probably a relationship they are trying to hide.



11. DISPLAYING BRAZEN BEHAVIOR



There comes a point when the cheater wants to be caught in his deceit—at least that’s the way it appears. This brazen behavior may be an indication that the are strangely proud of their conquest or just wants to get on with his/her life. They may exhibit flirtatious behavior in front of their spouse, allude to an affair, or mention past relationships in glowing terms. In conversation, they may defend the infidelities of others as completely justifiable.







By reviewing these eleven categories with our prospective clients, our investigators are able to determine whether we have a case to pursue or simply a misunderstanding that needs to be resolved. Frontline Investigations specializes in domestic infidelity cases - contact us today to discuss your needs in a confidential, free consultation.